Keep It Simple, Stupid
by petrelli heiress
Summary: Crossover with Charmed, BtVS, Smallville and many more TV shows. The blurb will not fit in...let's see...171 characters. So you'll have to read for yourselves.
1. Chapter the first

Chapter the First

Disclaimer: I don't own _Heroes_, although it is on my Christmas list.

I don't own _Charmed_...at least not yet.

_Somewhere in New York..._

"Peter?"

"Mmn?"

"Peter, it's your turn to let the cats out."

Peter mumbled incoherently then fell out of bed. He did this so frequently that even the cats paid no attention. He grumbled incomprehensibly under his breath but opened the bedroom door. The cats rushed out in the direction of their litter boxes.

He climbed back into bed and twined himself around Gabriel. "Why is it always me that has to let them out?"

Gabriel snapped his fingers with a grin. "You promised you'd get a cat door installed if you complained again. Snap!"

"Shut up," Peter grumbled, burying his face in Gabriel's chest.

There was silence for a moment, and Peter began to believe that Gabriel had fallen asleep. He sighed, relieved.

"Why haven't you told anyone about us?" Peter felt Gabriel's chest vibrate as he spoke.

He groaned. He'd known Gabriel would get to this eventually; he'd just hoped he wouldn't.

Peter pulled away from him so as to have a better look at his face. It had that determined look on it, the one he both loved and hated at the same time. He sighed noisily.

"I haven't told anyone because...because they just wouldn't understand."

"Wouldn't understand what?"

Peter looked at Gabriel. "Are you stupid? Am I in love with an idiot? They wouldn't understand why I'm sheltering a murderer I once hated. They wouldn't understand that I love you, that I couldn't live without you – "

Gabriel stopped his mouth with a kiss.

Peter seemed dazed afterwards. Gabriel looked at him tenderly. "You know, sometimes I don't understand it either."

Peter smirked. "You don't understand why I love you? Well, you're a really good kisser; you have this really nice chest...and a really nice body, overall. I wouldn't even trade your eyebrows."

"So it's really just a physical attraction...wait. What's wrong with my eyebrows?" Gabriel asked indignantly.

Peter smiled. He kissed one. "Absolutely nothing." And then the other. "They're perfect."

The door crashed in. "Peter!" Nathan yelled. He saw what position Peter was in. And stopped.

"_Peter_?"

_Somewhere in San Francisco..._

Paige sipped her coffee and gazed at the newspaper thoughtfully. She frowned and twirled her hair around her finger. She thought about calling for Piper and Phoebe but then remember that both had said not to wake them since they were having well-deserved breaks from demon-hunting. Maybe she should call Leo... And then she remembered that he was with Piper. It was up to her then.

She quickly finished her coffee, washed it out and set it back in the cupboard. Then she headed towards...she glanced at the newspaper...the Butler Institute for Homeless Children.

An hour later she arrived at the aforementioned institute, having got stuck in traffic on the motorway. She'd forgotten it was Monday.

She walked up the gravel path to the bright blue door of the institute and opened it cautiously.

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

Where was everybody?

The place was deserted, just as the newspaper had said. An institute which had once been bustling with the noise of children now felt like a ghost town.

Even though she knew it was useless Paige nevertheless called, "Is anyone in here?"

Of course, no one answered. She ventured deeper into the house that, by itself, was the equivalent of a ghost town. She expected to see dust devils fly past at any moment.

"Hellooo?" she asked the empty air. She heard a scrabble and turned around quickly...but it was just a rat.

Wait, she thought. What is a rat doing in a place that has only been empty for two days? So she orbed it to her. "Rat!"

The rat did not like being orbed. It squeaked furiously in her hand and she had to try and stop herself from dropping it. She turned her mind to the problem of interrogating a rat. She decided to be blunt.

"Show yourself, demon!"

If the rat was a demon he was keeping quiet. All it did was try to bite off her pinkie.

She was just about to throw it on the floor in frustration when a young boy's voice penetrated the silence. "Stop!"

Out of the shadow under the stairs crept a young boy. He looked about ten years old, with dark eyes, skin and hair. He also looked terrified.

"That's my rat. Please don't hurt him." The expression in the boy's eyes went to Paige's heart. But she knew that demons could come in all shapes and sizes, even as cute ten year old boys. She kept the rat, which seemed to have fallen asleep after all the stress, near her.

"Why are you here?" Paige asked. "I thought they couldn't find anyone in here."

The boy flinched and his eyes filled up with tears. "I don't know!"

He began to ball his eyes out and Paige, for a moment, felt awkward. But her motherly instincts took over and, keeping a tight hold of the sleeping rat, took him in her arms and tried to comfort him.

"What's your name?" she asked softly.

He sniffled. Paige let him wipe his nose on her blouse, even though it had cost her $550 after months of saving. "I'm Pegasus. His name's Roger. What's yours?"

Paige knew that she had his trust. "I'm Paige Matthews. I've come to take you away from this awful place. Do you want to come with me?"

He nodded tearfully. She took his hand and gave him the rat to hold. It was still asleep.


	2. Chapter the second

Chapter the second:

Disclaimer: I do not own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_

Nor do I own _Smallville_ (or _Superman_) and if I don't own them then I certainly don't own the song, '_Little Things Mean A Lot_'

_Somewhere in Los Angeles..._

"What do you think of this colour?"

Spike looked up from the book he was reading at his beautiful wife, even though she was six months pregnant. He sighed and rubbed his temples.

"It looks exactly like the colour before that," he said, being to get annoyed.

Buffy pouted. "Well, it's not. That one was called Midnight and this one is called Marine. There's a difference."

Spike stood up. "Well, I can't see it."

Buffy, who was prone to tears more often than she had been, looked like she was about to cry. He sighed and held her in his arms. Rocking her, he said, "I'm sure our baby will like whatever we pick."

Buffy sniffled. "What if he – or she – doesn't like what we pick? What if, by choosing the wrong colour, we give her – or him – a complex?"

She began crying in earnest now. Spike kept rocking, since this seemed to work the other ten times she had reacted this way. "No child of ours will develop a complex. Not if I have anything to say about it."

He pushed her back so that he could see her face, which he held in his hands. "I promise you," he said, gazing into her hazel eyes. "I will never let anything happen to our child. Otherwise I'll...I'll...well, I don't know exactly what I'll do what it'll be big and spectacular and probably end with my death."

Tears came to those eyes, the problem of what colour the baby's clothes should be forgotten. "I love you so much, Spike."

"I love you, too, Buffy," he said and kissed so passionately that even if she had wanted to continue the conversation of what colour the baby's clothes should be she wouldn't have been able to.

Giles stepped into the room just as the kiss was beginning and quickly stepped back out. He was still not that comfortable with Buffy and Spike's relationship, even though they had been dating for two years and got married a year ago.

Willow ambled up behind him and was about to enter that very same room when he stopped her.

"No, Willow," he said, drawing her away from their private moment. "Buffy and Spike are busy at the moment."

Willow shook her head. "This can't wait, Giles. Something's happening. I felt awhile ago and just now it's been confirmed. We need Buffy."

Giles sighed. Even though he didn't truly understand what Buffy saw in Spike he did see that she was happy with him and knew that this bad news – it couldn't be anything but – would ruin that happiness she had tried so hard to find.

He took his hand off her arm and she strode into the room. Thankfully the kiss was taking a breather and, before they would resume their delectable activities, Willow interrupted them with, "Buffy. Spike. Something is happening. It would take too long to explain but we need you."

Buffy tore her gaze from Spike and glanced at Willow. "End of the world?"

Willow nodded. "Pretty much."

_Somewhere in Metropolis..._

"Lois Lane."

"Clark Kent."

They glared at each other for a moment until Clark decided to be polite, since he was at Chloe's wedding. Think of Chloe, he thought.

"Fancy meeting you here." He tried to be polite but he could tell it wasn't working.

Lois smiled. "Yes, it is a remarkable coincidence since Chloe is my _cousin_. Plus I was the _maid of honour_ and you were the _best man_."

Before he could really rip into her, with an insult he had been saving for months, Chloe appeared, stunning in her white wedding gown.

"Hi, guys. I hope you're enjoying yourselves."

Lois and Clark looked at each other and then turned to the very happy Chloe.

"We're great. It was a wonderful service," Lois said and drew Chloe away from the negative influences of Clark.

Clark was left alone. He made use of his time by glaring constantly at Lois' back. Bart tried to distract his friend by doing a very simple thing: talking to him.

"You were great, Clark. Thanks for the speech," he said, slapping him on the back.

Clark tore his eyes from Lois, who was laughing with Chloe. "You're very welcome. It was my pleasure. I just hope you didn't mind me mentioning that little fact of you being a thief."

Bart grinned. "I didn't mind. But I don't think Chloe's mum was very pleased. You know, I don't think she likes me very much."

It was Clark's turn to do a bit of back slapping. "You'll grow on her. It's your way."

Lois glanced over at Clark, who was laughing with Bart. She shook her head.

"I can't believe you married him. It's just so...not you."

Chloe grinned. Well, she was already grinning so Lois couldn't be sure if it was because of what she had just said or just from an overabundance of happiness.

"You're just jealous. You just wish you could find someone like I did. Someone who will be there for you; someone who won't abandon you; someone who'll hold you in his strong, muscular arms and tell you everything is going to be okay; someone who'll – "

"Bart has strong, muscular arms?"

Chloe burst into infectious giggles. "I wasn't talking about him. I was talking about your type of guy. You know..." She glanced around the room and her hazel-green eyes alighted on the perfect specimen. "Someone like Clark, for instance."

Lois snorted. "_Clark_? You've got to be kidding me."

"What?! I've seen the way you look at him when no one else is watching. You look like you're undressing him."

Lois' face went bright red. "I do _not_."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do not what?"

Lois and Chloe jumped. Bart smirked. Clark looked confused.

Chloe took a sideways glance at Lois. "Uhh, Lois doesn't think she wants to sing. But she's got such a good voice. I think she should."

Lois looked at her aghast. Bart looked intrigued. Clark now had no expression.

"Come on, Lois, we know you want to," Bart said, smirk still apparent on his face.

Lois glanced sideways at Clark to see if he was paying attention. He was, although not in an interested way, just an I-hope-she-gets-humiliated way.

She gulped but knew that there was no way out. Her glare was now focused on Chloe. "I'm going to kill you."

They pushed Lois up onto stage, the wedding singer gladly relinquishing his position near the microphone.

She gazed out over the audience and tried not to look at Clark, who she felt sure was smirking. Taking a deep breath, she began, _"Blow me a kiss from across the room... Say I look nice when I'm not... Touch my hair as you pass my chair... Little things mean a lot..."_

Clark was absolutely gobsmacked. He'd had no idea Lois had such a beautiful, melodious voice. But then it was usually raised to a high, unnatural pitch whenever he was near. 

"_Give me your arm as we cross the street... Call me at six on the dot... A line a day when you're far away... Little things mean a lot..." _Lois couldn't help glancing at Clark to gauge his reaction. To her surprise he seemed to be enjoying listening to her. And so throughout the song she couldn't help glancing at him again to see if the expression on his face had changed. It didn't once.

"_Don't have to buy me diamonds and pearls... Champagne, sables or such... I never cared much for diamonds and pearls... Because honestly, honey, they just cost money..._" Bart and Chloe looked at each other, satisfied that at least the foundations were built.

"_Give me your hand when I've lost the way...Give me a shoulder to cry on...Whither the day is bright or gray...Give me your heart to rely on...Send me the warmth of a secret smile...To show you haven't forgot...For always and ever...Now and forever...Little things mean a lot..."_ After awhile Lois could not take her eyes off Clark, nor could he take his eyes off her.

"_Give me your hand when I've lost the way...Give me a shoulder to cry on...Whither the day is bright or gray...Give me your heart to rely on...Send me the warmth of a secret smile...To show you haven't forgot...For always and ever...Now and forever...Little things mean a lot..."_ Lois brought the song to a close, her eyes still focused on Clark.

The applause snapped her out of the daze she had been in and she tore her gaze off of Clark, who realised what had happened and was ashamed of himself. How could he even think of Lois that way?

"You were great, Lois. I knew you would be," Chloe congratulated her, noticing how dazed Lois seemed and sharing another satisfied look with Bart.

"Yeah, you were...spectacular," Bart agreed. "Wasn't she, Clark?"

Clark looked up at the sound of his name. He felt Lois' gaze on him and tried not to squirm. "Um, yeah. Good job."

He made a quick exit, which for a man gifted with preternatural speed is pretty quick. Lois tried not to show how much that hurt her, hiding behind her natural sarcasm. "Got somewhere to be, Smallville?" Somehow it just didn't have the same effect as it usually did.

Then the roof caved in.


	3. Chapter the third

Chapter the third

Disclaimer: I don't own _Heroes_, although it is on my Christmas list.

I don't own _Charmed_...at least not yet.

_Somewhere else in New York..._

"Peter...and Sylar?"

Nathan could hear the mixture of disgust and astonishment in Claire's voice. He nodded.

"I know. It surprised me as well."

Claire looked at him. "Surprised you? _Surprised you_? It's disgusting. Sylar attacked me, almost killed me and Peter goes and _sleeps_ with him?"

Nathan understood how Claire felt but Pete was his brother. "Look, I know how you feel, but this is Peter we're talking about. He must have a good reason."

And this explains why he's been avoiding me these past few weeks, he thought. I can't believe he thought he couldn't trust me.

Claire just shook her head at Nathan's stupidity. "I can't believe you're taking his side in this."

She flounced off to her room for a good sulk.

"Now you know how I felt."

Nathan turned towards his laptop and saw Noah appear on the screen.

"And how are you this fine evening, Noah?" Nathan asked, just so he could forget his horrible parenting skills.

"I'm great, Nathan. Is Sylar really with Peter? And don't worry; Claire is like that all the time. If I were you I'd be worried if she stopped acting that way."

Nathan collapsed into a nearby chair. "Yes, Sylar, who now apparently prefers to be called Gabriel , is with Peter. And no, I will not tell you where Peter is."

Noah affected a school-girl attitude. "How could you even think I would? I would _never_ ask such a thing."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "And I'll be Prime Minister of New Zealand in under a month. Yeah, yeah, Noah, I believe you."

The door bell rang. Noah saw Nathan's head whip around and then after a moment return to a normal angle. "Ah, Noah, I have to go. Call me back in an hour."

The screen went blank. Noah swore.

Nathan went to answer the door. Claire had arrived there first. She opened it to reveal Peter and Gabriel standing there looking decidedly awkward.

"Hello, Claire," Peter said, smiling uneasily. With a determined air she slammed the door in his face.

"That went well," Gabriel said calmly.

The door was opened a second later by Nathan who said, "Hi, Pete."

" 'Lo, Nathan," Peter replied, drawing a smile from him.

Nathan stepped aside and Gabriel followed Peter in. Angry girl music could be heard coming from the direction of Claire's room. From the increase in volume since the door had been shut the noise was put on for their benefit, to show them she was not at all affected by them being there. Not at all.

"I take it she doesn't approve," Gabriel said, sitting down next to Peter on the living room couch.

"You'd be right. After all you did rummage around in her brain. She didn't take too kindly to that, I can tell you."

Silence reigned supreme for about a quarter of a second until Peter blurted out, "And what about you, Nathan? Do you approve?"

Nathan saw Peter look at him pleadingly. "Well..." he said hesitantly. "I don't exactly approve..." Peter's shoulders slumped. "...but I don't exactly _dis_approve either."

Peter glanced, hope suddenly appearing his eyes. Nathan smiled. "I don't approve because Sylar – I mean Gabriel – doesn't exactly have the greatest track record."

"True," Gabriel admitted.

""He has killed numerous people, scared the wits out of my daughter and generally made a nuisance of himself. How has he changed, if at all?"

Peter tried to explain himself but could not find the words. Somehow he'd expected worse than this.

Gabriel, seeing the trouble Peter was having, tried to explain for him. "I used to hate Peter, really hate him. He was always getting in the way until one day, a few months ago, I just couldn't take it anymore. I contacted him and told him to meet me, saying that I had someone with me who was dying to see him. Like the gullible fool I thought he was, he came. But something happened that day...I just can't explain it. It's not something that can be explained."

Peter smiled at Gabriel. Nathan suddenly felt very lonely and wondered if anyone would ever look at him like that. Even his ex-wife hadn't looked at him like that. Except his dream girl.

_Somewhere else in San Francisco..._

Phoebe rubbed her eyes and fell face forward onto her desk. Even though she'd promised herself she'd sleep in she hadn't been able to and when her alarm had buzzed at six am she'd fallen out of bed and rushed off to the office.

Just as she was about to drop off her desk and into sleep the phone rang. She wondered why her assistant wasn't picking it up then she realised that it was seven and she didn't get in until at least nine. Grumbling Phoebe answered the phone and was greeted by a too loud "Phoebe?"

"Paige? What are you doing calling me?" She idly thought about hanging up on her half-sister and going back to sleep but what Paige said next woke her right up.

"We've got trouble."

Phoebe straightened up. "Demon trouble?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'll be right there." Phoebe hung up, grabbed her coat from where she'd thrown it and in ten minutes she walked through the door of Halliwell manor.

"Speak to me, Paige," she said crankily to Paige, who had greeted her at the doorway and had kindly taken her coat. "What is it this time? Scalely demons, scabby demons, demons who want to rule to world, destroy the world, what?"

Paige pointed. They were, by now, in the living room and Paige was pointing to a young boy, who looked about ten years old, give or take a few months. He was currently playing with Wyatt and Chris, as Piper looked on. Phoebe was stumped.

"Is he a demon?" she whispered behind her palm to Paige, who shook her head.

Phoebe frowned. "I thought it was demon trouble."

"I found him in a mysteriously empty institute for homeless children. The police searched it yesterday and found nothing. When I read about it this morning in the newspaper it smelled like 'demon trouble,' as you so put it so I went and investigated."

Phoebe opened her mouth to reprimand Paige for going alone when Piper said, "Don't. I've already tried."

Phoebe exhaled noisily. She ran her fingers through her long brown hair. "Have you tried asking him?"

Silence reigned. "You didn't even think about asking him?" asked Phoebe, incredulously.

Paige and Piper looked at each other. "No. No we didn't."

Phoebe rubbed her temples. She just wanted to go to sleep and have that dream again with that beyond yummy man. If she went to sleep now she might find out his name. Glancing up at her sisters she realised this was impossible. She sighed and knelt next to said young boy.

Wyatt looked up at her. "His name's Pegasus," he said, pointing at his new friend. Phoebe smiled at her nephew. Turning to Pegasus she said, "You know, that's a very unusual name. Who gave it to you?"

"I don't know but I do know why the police didn't find me when they searched my home yesterday. I hid. They made so much noise I thought they were..._them_." He shuddered and the terrified look returned to his eyes.

Phoebe put her arm around him. "It's all right. You're safe here. Now, I know you probably don't want to but could you tell me what happened the day everyone else disappeared?"

He nodded his head slowly to show he complied, but the reservations were written all over his face. He began, " It was Saturday so we were all gathered in front of the big flat-screened TV in the recreation room. We were watching _Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom_ and it was just up to the part where the crazy doctor is about to take that guy's heart out when it turned off. The TV, I mean. They sometimes do this for a joke so we weren't worried, at first, anyway. And then the lights went out all at once. And after a moment we could hear something breathing in the room with us. Its breath smelt as though something had died awhile ago. And it felt _big_, like it _was_ the room. But we couldn't feel it, I mean physically.

"And the world went crazy. Up 'til now it had been dead silent but now it was as though the whole of civilisation had appeared just outside the door. Everyone was suddenly trying to get out of the room and away from the..._thing_. I don't know why but I tried going in the opposite direction. I fell down and then everything went black. When I woke up everyone had disappeared. But the _thing_ was still in the room. I felt different about it...I felt that it wasn't _bad_, that what had been outside was the bad thing. I felt as though whatever the _thing_ was it had protected me.

"I don't know where everyone else went or why I didn't go with them," he finished, trying to hold back a shudder. He sniffled against Phoebe's shoulder then asked, "Where's Roger?"

Phoebe looked up at her sisters, confused.

Paige smiled. "He's in the kitchen. I'll just go get him." She left to do just that.

"Who's Roger?" Phoebe asked Pegasus.

"He's my rat," he said, waiting for Paige to return with said rat, which she did a moment later.

Just as Paige handed Roger to Pegasus Leo appeared in a swirl of blue-white lights. Piper went to him. "What did the Elders have to say?"

He looked at her and she knew that it hadn't been anything good. "They don't know where the rest of the children and others went but they do know that the boy is important. He is the key to the Ultimate Alternate Universe System, and if someone is looking for him that is very bad."

Paige was sceptical. "The Ultimate Alternate Universe System? Sounds like a video game."

"It's not, Paige. If you've ever thought that a certain place that doesn't exist except in another medium, like television for instance, is true then you're right. Every world that was ever thought up by anyone really does exist. That is the Ultimate Alternate Universe System, Paige. If someone was able to open it with a key then the barriers between our world and those worlds would break down and the consequences wouldn't be pretty," Leo finished, exasperated. He'd just wanted a day all to himself so that he could be with Piper. Obviously the powers that be did not believe in days off.

"But why is he here? And in human form?" Phoebe asked, still holding onto Pegasus, who seemed to be taking the fact that he was a key pretty well.

"I don't know, and neither do the Elders. He should be an entirely different plane of existence but he isn't. So that must mean he came here for a reason. The question is, why?" Leo asked, turning to Pegasus.

Pegasus looked down at Roger then back up to Leo. "I came because...because I need your help. That wasn't the first time they've nearly found me. So I decided to stop running and confront them. But alone I am useless. I needed help. And I knew what kind of help I needed. I needed the Charmed Ones, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her friends, Superman and various others."

"You mean those people are all real?" Paige asked.

Pegasus shrugged. "Well...technically they are real since they exist...but that doesn't mean what you see on TV is exactly a true depiction especially if the series has ended. Time would still continue as normal in their universe as though the series had never ended."

"And opening this...system means the end of the world as we know it?" Piper asked.

Pegasus nodded. "As you know it, yes."

Phoebe sighed. "Not again."


	4. Chapter the fourth

Chapter the fourth:

Declaimer: I do not own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_

Nor do I own _Smallville_ (or _Superman_)

_Somewhere in Los Angeles..._

"Well, Willow? What's the big bad?" Buffy asked, sitting down carefully on Spike's lap.

"The key to the Ultimate Alternate Universe System has appeared and...people...are looking for it," Willow answered seriously.

There was a silence. "And...?" Xander asked. He made 'go on' motions with his hands.

"This is big stuff, people. The Ultimate Alternate Universe System is, like, _ultimate_ and if the barriers fall down it will be, like, the _end of the world as we know it_." This gem came from Willow's apprentice, Stella. She was young, and pretty, and a brunette.

Buffy looked up at Giles. "Again?"

"I'm afraid so, Buffy."

Buffy looked close to tears. "Couldn't they have waited until after I'd given birth? Or even have started early, like, before I even got pregnant? This so unfair."

Spike comforted her. This involved numerous pats on the back, soft kisses on the forehead and a lot of hair brushing with his fingers. After awhile she calmed down.

She looked at Willow. "So what are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to find this key?"

Dawn interrupted her. "Is this like the time I was the Key? Is it going to be like that? Is Buffy going to sacrifice herself again? And is this key in human form?"

Willow answered, "No, it is not, Dawn. Because Buffy is not connected to this key, which is probably in human form. I have a spell which will help locate this key and which might take us to it," she continued looking at Buffy.

"Okay," Buffy said, rubbing her hands together. "Let's get magicky."

The spell was very simple. Willow spoke in some strange archaic language, that only she and Giles (and possible Stella) could understand, and a light appeared. It stayed floating in the air for a moment then opened up to reveal a scene: three very beautiful women and one not-too-bad-looking bloke were in what looked like a living room with three young boys. The image focused on a young dark-skinned boy talking to the adults of the scene.

"That's the key? A _boy_?" Spike was incredulous.

"The powers that be work in mysterious ways, Spike," Giles answered.

They continued to watch the scene and then Xander asked, "So...what do we do next?"

Willow was about to answer when the image expanded and swallowed them whole.

_Somewhere in Metropolis..._

"Lois? Lois? Lois!" Clark shouted at her prone body in his arms. Because she was unconscious, due to having an entire roof fall on top of her, she said nothing.

A feeling was seeping into Clark. He was worried about Lois. If Lois died...he didn't know what he'd do. Probably go on with life but...there'd be this hole. Not in his heart of course but somewhere...else. He felt wetness on his cheeks and was surprised to find that he was crying.

"Clark? Did you find Lois?" He looked up at Chloe, still in her wedding dress which was now a little worse for wear since the roof that was the cause of Lois's unconsciousness had also ruined a perfectly good dress.

"She's here. But she's unconscious. We better get her to a hospital," Clark said, standing up with Lois in his arms. She looked like a beautiful maiden saved by a hero, her brown hair flowing over his arms...in short nothing at all like the real Lois.

At that moment Lois woke up. Clark nearly dropped her in shock. "You're awake," he said.

"Yes, Smallville, I am. Great eyes you've got there," she said, her voice croaky, and rubbed her head, in the process nearly falling out of Clark's arms again.

Before Lois could realise where she was Clark put her gently on the ground. She was a little shaky but seemed fine. Chloe, supported by Bart and Clark (although with less enthusiasm in the latter since he knew how Lois could be), wanted her to go to the hospital but she was adamant that she was absolutely fine.

"What exactly happened?" she asked, doing a few exercises to stretch her legs.

"We don't know. The roof just caved in," Clark answered.

Lois raised her eyebrow. "No shit, Sherlock, How'd you figure that one out? I mean, why did it cave in? Roofs just don't cave in by themselves, you know, at least not without help."

"Well, apparently it did," Chloe said, resting on Bart's shoulder.

The wind, which till now had been as quiet as a zephyr, blew into a whirlwind. Lois thought, well, there goes my hair.

A portal opened in front of them, tinged with yellow. Through the portal Lois could see three beautiful women and a rather good-looking male surrounded by three boys, two white and one black. Before she could truly comprehend what was going on the wind sucked them towards it and the portal swallowed them whole.


	5. Chapter the fifth

Chapter the fifth:

Disclaimer: I don't own _Heroes_, although it is on my Christmas list.

I don't own _Charmed_...at least not yet.

I do not own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_

Nor do I own _Smallville_ (or _Superman_)

_Yet again somewhere else in New York..._

"So what are we going to do about it?"

Matt looked at Claire, who had called a meeting to discuss the possible repercussions of Sylar dating Peter. He didn't really see a problem with it especially if Sylar had promised to mend his ways.

"I don't know. That's why I called this meeting," Claire answered looking around the room. Spotting Mohinder she asked, "But do you think, Mohinder? Sylar killed your father. Don't you have feelings about this?"

Mohinder shrugged. "That was a long time ago. Not that I don't still care but after what I've been through I believe about giving people a second chance." Like Matt, he didn't see any reason why Peter and Sylar shouldn't date.

"What about you, Elle? What do you think?" Everyone knew Claire was getting desperate when she asked Elle her opinion.

Elle stretched herself out on the couch. "Well...personally I don't give a damn about whether Sylar dates Peter or not. It's his business. And another thing," she added. "Why are we even having this meeting? I mean, I know Claire's a sort of homophobe since the whole issue of Matt and Mohinder's relationship came to light but why are the rest of us here?"

During this Claire had become redder and redder while everyone else had let their initial grins widen. She was about to reply when the door opened revealing Nathan, Noah, Peter and Gabriel.

Silence reigned supreme while everyone looked at each other.

"So...this is awkward," Mac said. She – or he – was a new addition to the 'family,' as Hiro put it. He – or she – was a shapeshifter, but could only change into two shapes: Tina Majorina and Gary Sinise. Accordingly the others didn't know whether Mac was a woman or a man. She – or he – was currently in her – or his – Tina Majorina shape.

Nathan had to agree with Mac. Things were awkward.

Fortunately – or unfortunately – something happened then that snapped the awkwardness thread. Just as it had in two other universes a portal tinged with yellow opened in front of our heroes. They, as others before them, were stunned.

"What the –?" Noah began and then he, and the rest of our heroes, were sucked into the portal.

_The place in San Francisco that we have been to before..._

Buffy, Spike, Willow, Xander, Giles, Dawn, Stella and Faith (who has been silent throughout this whole ordeal) fell into the Charmed Ones living room. Silence reigned as they all looked at each other.

"Spike, honey, we should paint the baby's room this colour!" Buffy, unfazed by falling through a portal stuff, exclaimed.

Spike, checking to see if she and the baby were okay, replied, "Yes, dear."

Then Lois, Clark, Chloe and Bart fell through a now non-existent portal. Phoebe felt that the room, which she had always considered the largest in the house, was becoming a little crowded.

"Where are these people coming from?" Paige asked Pegasus, exasperated.

"I called them," he said, calmly.

"You _called_ them? Why the hell did you call them?'" she yelled as another portal opened and Nathan, Noah, Peter, Gabriel, Claire, Matt, Mohinder, Mac, Elle, Hiro, Ando, Maya, Lyle and Claude(who was invisible and hence no one knew he was there) fell through.

Now Paige was feeling the crowdedness. Phoebe meanwhile was utterly distracted by the appearance of the man of her dreams.

Nathan stood up and brushed himself off. He looked up and found one of the three beautiful women staring at him, mouth open. In shock, he recognised the woman of his dreams. He too had been having dreams about Phoebe. (Mind out of the gutter, people!) All they had done was talked about everything, anything, and nothing. They were the most wonderful dreams he'd ever had.

"You," he said, still shocked.

"You," Phoebe replied.

Paige tried to create a little order out of the ensuing chaos, while her sister made goo-goo eyes at one of their uninvited guests. She was helped in this endeavour by Piper, who have raised two boys and been the intermediary for two sisters, knew how to organise people.

Piper stood on the coffee table. "Okay, people, quieten down."

Still they talked, the most common word, especially from Lois, being, "Owww!"

Piper focused on the flower pot next to the door leading to the kitchen. Goodbye, my dear. I hope your sacrifice will not have been in vain, she thought and blew it up.

Now everyone shut up and turned to look at Piper. Only Lois dared give a half-hearted "Owww" to express her pain.

Piper realised that she didn't know what to do. "Phoebe," she whispered behind her palm, bending down. Phoebe ignored her. "_Phoebe_!"

Slightly dazed Phoebe tore her gaze from Nathan's face and looked at her sister. Realising what she wanted Phoebe replaced Piper on the coffee table. She silently reminded herself not to get excited because the table had only just been fixed.

Just as she was about to open her mouth a demon appeared.

"Raww!" he exclaimed and threw a fire ball, which just happened to hit Maya. Then he disappeared, never to be seen again.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Maya screamed, burning to death.

"Our first causality," Lyle said and went to the kitchen to find something to wipe up the ashes with.

"So anyway back to business. Why are you all here?" Phoebe asked, slapping her hands together.

"To find the key to the Ultimate Alternate Universe System," Willow said.

"Who?! What?! Where?!" Ando was confused.

"Oops," Pegasus said, under his breath.

"What oops?" Buffy asked. "I hope it's not a bad oops. Is it a bad oops?"

"They were supposed to all be summoned when they discovered information about me but it was taking too long so I just...summoned them myself." Pegasus looked embarrassed.

"Okay. So I should explain?" Phoebe asked him. He nodded. "Okay, people, here's the thing. Someone is looking for this boy, who is the key to something called the Ultimate Alternate Universe System. Some people, who are really bad, are looking for him. He called us here to help him. Got that?"

Nathan nodded, mostly because he would agree to anything she said but also because he did understand if by understanding she meant that the words had had some meaning for him.

"Now we need to know your names so if someone has a piece of paper – thank you, Scary Eyebrows Man – we will begin. Starting from the left and moving to the right, you," she said, pointing at Giles.

"Rupert Giles," he said, taking off his glasses and wiping them on a cleaning cloth. He looked at the man next to him.

"Noah Bennett," Noah said and looked at the man who was beside _him_.

"Xander Harris," he said, adding, "That's Xander with an X, if you're wondering."

By now everyone had basically caught on.

"Buffy Summers." "Spike Summers." "Peter Petrelli." "Gabriel Gray." "Nathan Petrelli." "Phoebe Halliwell." "Willow Rosenberg." "Stella Bonasera." "Mac Taylor." "Paige Matthews." "Elle Bishop." "Lois Lane." "Clark Kent." "Bart Allen." "Claude Rains." "Chloe Sullivan." "Piper Halliwell." "Leo Wyatt." "Faith Lehane." "Dawn Summers." "Mohinder Suresh." "Matt Parkman." " Claire Ben – I mean, Petrelli." "Hiro Nakamura." "Ando Masahashi." "Lyle Bennett." "Wyatt Halliwell." "Pegasus."

Nathan and Phoebe had finally found out the name of their perspective dream people. That was the only important part to the whole exercise, they thought.

Piper, seeing how lost Phoebe was, took over. "So now that we know everyone's names...we will...have to find each of you a place to stay." She glanced again at Phoebe. "We'll figure out the rest in the morning."

Before she had finished speaking Phoebe had rushed off to her room, dragging Nathan behind her. He wasn't complaining.

After much debate Piper took Elle, Stella and Willow to her room while Paige gave up her room to Spike and Buffy, Claire, Chloe and Bart, Giles, Noah and Mac (who was now in his Gary Sinise shape). The nursery was given to Dawn, Lois, Faith and Paige, who would look after Wyatt and Chris for her sister. The dining room was taken over by Matt, Mohinder, Gabriel, Peter, Xander and Adam while Piper, Leo, Pegasus, Lyle, Hiro, Ando and Claude staked their claim on the living room.

Sleep was not instantaneous for some:

Phoebe and Nathan spent the whole night talking, just as they had in their dreams, and fell asleep in each other's arms around four in the morning.

Noah, who had forgotten his cleaning cloth, asked Giles if he could borrow his. They got to talking and ended up finding that they had a lot in common. Blonde girls whom they loved despite their bratty ways, for instance.

Claire took an immediate disliking to both Chloe and Buffy and spent the night grumbling in a corner.

Claude spent the night sneaking up on people and scaring the wits out of them. This was eventually stopped by Pegasus. No need to go into details.

Lyle lay awake looking up at the ceiling. He wondered briefly what the name of the girl the demon had killed was and then dismissed it as unimportant. He then went back to dreaming about that brunette he'd seen...what was her name?...oh, yeah. Dawn Summers.

Everyone else fall asleep quickly.


	6. Chapter the sixth

Chapter the sixth:

Disclaimer: I don't own _Heroes_, although it is on my Christmas list.

I don't own _Charmed_...at least not yet.

I do not own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_

Nor do I own _Smallville_ (or _Superman_)

Claire woke up dazed and confused. She found herself curled uncomfortably up in a corner only to discover that she had somehow broken her arm during the night. She righted it and the snap it made woke everyone in the room up.

Buffy, who had jumped up with a stake in her hand, simply snuggled back down with Spike, who had simply turned over. Giles and Noah looked at each other, rolled their eyes and went back to sleep. Mac, Chloe and Bart, all very tired from yesterday's ordeal, simply ignored her and tried to get back to sleep.

Claire felt tears beginning to creep into her eyes. She got up, sniffled loudly and, after receiving no response, stomped out to the kitchen where she found Gabriel eating Coco Pops.

Gabriel, who was fond of everything chocolate, had discovered them hidden away behind what appeared to be eyeballs. And they thought I was sick, he thought, shaking his head.

Half way through his massive bowl when Claire entered the room, he continued eating as though his lover's niece, who hated him, hadn't just walked into the room. When he had finished he looked up and found Claire standing there, looking back at him. Some would say that what followed was a stand-off but they knew differently.

Claire burst into tears and threw herself at Gabriel who, with his powers of telekinesis, was able to catch her without dropping his now empty bowl of Coco Pops.

"No one loves me!" she wailed into Gabriel's chest. "Everyone hates me! I try to be nice but I just can't make the effort!"

Then she whispered into his chest, "And Zach's gone. He's gone and he's not coming back."

The name sounded familiar. "Was he tall, got brown hair and usually carries a camera around?"

Claire looked up at Gabriel and sniffled. "Yeah..."

"Then his murderer isn't coming back anytime soon, either," Gabriel said, hoping that this would reassure her.

It did. Claire immediately felt better knowing that West was dead.

Peter walked in and found Claire in Gabriel's arms. He paused. "So you're okay with us now?" he asked, going with his first option.

Claire fell on Peter, who had to make a great effort not fall down under her surprisingly heavy weight. "I'm sorry, Peter!" she wailed, beginning to cry again. "I'm so sorry!...and yes I'm okay with it," she said, suddenly fine and extracting herself from the position she'd put herself in.

Phoebe and Nathan ran in, having been awakened by the noises Claire had been emitting. Both had crossbows at the ready and were joined a moment later by a half-dressed Buffy, stake in hand, shouting, "Where's the demon?! Let me at him! He's not getting our baby!"

Gabriel, who had discovered the ability of calming many people down at once, was able to explain the noises that the others insisted no human could make. Since they were awake they decided to wake everyone else up too. Since they were in the kitchen this meant banging pots and pans together until everyone was gathered in the living room.

"Okay, people," Gabriel said, rubbing his hands together. He did not usually speak in public but this time he decided to make an exception. "This is what we're going to do. Phoebe, you and Nathan along with Lois and Clark are going to go outside and see if anything has changed."

No one knew why this was a good idea, but it was. Gabriel continued, "Piper, you, Chloe, Willow and Elle, consult the – what was it called? – Book of Shadows, and see if it has anything that might help with our current predicament."

"Noah, you and Giles take Hiro, Leo and Bart with you and go shopping for supplies. Take Piper's credit card, if you don't have any money. If you want anything in particular tell Giles and he'll write it on the list."

"Faith, take Dawn, Xander, Lyle and Mohinder with you and tidy the house. We're here because of their generosity so do the best you can."

"The rest of you," he added, taking a deep breath, "Come with me."

While Leo begged her credit card off Piper and Faith took control of her motley crew, Phoebe opened the door carefully and peered around the edge. Everything seemed normal but it usually did. She opened the door all the way and asked the others, "What do you think?"

A blue police box stood on the corner of their street. A rather cool-looking black van was parked a few metres in the opposite direction. Men in archaic clothes, with bow and arrows over their shoulders, walked baffled down the same street.

Nathan shrugged. "Seems okay to me."

Lois yelled behind them, "Seems okay!"

Leo, Bart, Hiro, Giles and Noah walked past them, having finally convinced Piper to give up her credit card. One by one they all paused.

"Does anyone know where the best supermarket is?" Noah asked.

Leo shrugged. "Piper usually does the grocery shopping. I'm just the handy-man."


	7. Chapter the seventh

Chapter the Seventh

Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes, Charmed, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville or Darth Vader

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_In a smoky karaoke bar somewhere in Tokyo, Japan..._

"IT'S THE...EYE OF THE TIGER," bawled the Master, "IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT. RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVALS..."

Adam Monroe gazed at the vampire on stage and then proceeded to bang his head softly on the table. He gazed into his drink. "Won't this guy ever shut up?" he moaned.

The demon-robot hybrid – also known as Adam – next to him bopped up and down to the music. "I think he's pretty good," he said in his deep voice.

Adam looked at him, disgusted. Then, finally fed up, he muttered, "What the hell are we doing here?"

A man – at least Adam presumed he was a man – in a dark helmet replied, "No bloody clue."

Adam gazed at the helmeted man, sensing from his tone that he had found a kindred spirit. "What's your name?"

The man answered, "Darth Vader. What's yours?"

Adam snorted. "Adam Monroe. What was your mother smoking when she gave you that name?" he added, sniggering a little.

"Actually my name's Anakin Skywalker but I prefer Darth Vader. It has more...weight, if you will," Darth Vader answered, secretly hoping this blonde man would _not _think of calling him 'Anny.' He shuddered at the memory.

"I can see why." Adam gazed morosely into his drink. "Wanna get out of here?" he added.

"Hell yes." After downing their respective drinks, Adam Monroe and Darth Vader left, seeking elsewhere for cooler company.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, allow me to introduce...the Source of All Evil, singing 'I Want Candy.' Give him a hand, folks!"

Applause resounded around the room as the Source of All Evil – known as Bob to his friends – took his position on the stage. Although it was very hard to tell anything much of what went on under his cowl, at that moment the Source of All Evil was blushing.

A few minutes later he was happily crying, "I...want Candy!...I...want Candy!...Candy in the morning time...Candy in the hot sunshine..."

Arthur Petrelli – known to many people as the Scourge of the Heroes Universe – sneered at the Source's efforts. "I could do better than that," he confided in the hot woman next to him.

She sneered right back. "Then get up there and prove it."

As many people know, the First drove a hard bargain, and always extracted a price. Of course, Arthur, being the idiot he generally was, shook her hand and said, "Deal."

A few moments later Arthur Petrelli – the oh-so-serious patriarch of the Petrelli family – was up on stage, belting out 'Play that funky music, white boy.' Needless to say, the Source had been considerably better.

The First sniggered behind her (its??) hand.

As Arthur's dulcet tones faded into silence and Lex Luthor prepared to sing 'God Only Knows,' a woman wearing what appeared to be a 1950s era dress complete with apron – strangely reminiscent of Donna Reed – entered the room, followed closely by a bunch of men who could only be described as thugs.

The woman clapped her hands in childish glee. "Ooh! Look, boys! They're all here!"

Her 'boys' grunted. That appeared to be the extent of their vocabulary.

Her voice was cold when she said, "Kill them."

Once all of the gathered villains were dead – yes, even the First – the woman glanced around. Now all of her competition was dead. Now no one would be able to beat her in capturing the boy and thus the Ultimate Alternate Universe System would be in her hands. But first...

"Anyone for karaoke?"

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Finally I put another chapter up. Just a short one, of course. But hopefully the eighth one will be coming soon. Give me ideas if you have any...


	8. Chapter the eighth

**Chapter the eighth:**

**Author's Note: Oh my god, I haven't written a chapter for this in ages. Well, to anyone who cares, here it is, in all its glory. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes, Charmed, Smallville, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Robin Hood or Merlin**

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_Hey, you know, this place looks familiar..._

Phoebe was still not convinced that everything was normal. "Clark, could you go and ask those men wandering around the street what they're doing in those clothes?"

Clark shrugged. Anything to get away from Lois and those stupid feelings he was having. "Sure." He walked down the steps of the Halliwell mansion and walked up to a man who appeared to be the leader of the band of archaic looking men.

"Lois?" Phoebe began.

Lois waved her hand. "Way ahead of you." She walked over to the black SUV and knocked on the window.

"You and I," Phoebe said, indicating them with a wave of her hand, "will go and check out that blue police box. Something about it gives me the creeps. Although," she added, a bit confused. "In a good way."

"Hello?" Clark said hesitantly, trying to catch the leader's attention. The man, along with his entire gang, pointed their bows, complete with arrows, in his direction.

"Who the hell are you?" the man said angrily, hence the use of the word 'hell.' Usually he didn't swear. And yes, 'hell' was a swear word for him.

Clark blinked. "No need to get snippy," he said, slightly hurt. "I was only saying hello. My name's Clark," he added, thinking he might as well answer the question. "Clark Kent. And you are?"

The man slowly lowered his bow. After a minute his men – hey, was that a woman? Oh my god, there's another one! – lowered theirs.

"I'm Robin," the man said. He gestured to his band. "And this is my gang. Much, Will, Alan, Marian, John and Djaq. We're a little...oh, shit."

Before Clark's very surprised eyes, they vanished to be replaced by two boys, one blonde, the other a brunette, accompanied by what looked like a dragon.

After a moment Clark began again. "Hello?"

Lois knocked on the window with an insistence that was plain due to its sheer loudness. "Come on," she added, just in case whoever was inside hadn't heard. "I know you're in there."

The door on the side opened with a quiet bang, if that is at all possible and even if it isn't. Three people tumbled out. Lois was surprised at the number. And this is a girl who is not very surprised at much. Except maybe Clark's fondness for plaid.

A very handsome man wearing a long black coat was the first to speak. Well, technically, the woman was the first to speak since she was the first one out of the SUV and hence the first one to become acquainted with the ground. But what's a technicality between friends?

"I wonder if this stunning brunette can tell us just exactly what just happened and where we are," the man said, grinning in a very charming at Lois. She had never been susceptible to flattery but something in the man's tone made her blush. Damn him. Two people behind him rolled their eyes. They obviously knew him.

"Ignore him," the woman said, with another eye roll. "He's always like that. Although he has raised a few good points. Care to answer them?"

"I'm Lois Lane," Lois said, wondering why they looked shocked. But then they probably thought she was a fictional character. Ha. Fictional. Her? Never. "And you are?"

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness. This," he added, indicating the woman, "is Gwen Cooper. That guy over there is Ianto Jones. We're Torchwood."

Lois quirked an eyebrow. Torchwood? Were they some sort of anti-fire fighters? She'd get that point clarified later.

"Now, lady, could you please explain how we ended up here?" Captain Jack asked. "'Cause I sure as hell can't think of a good reason."

"Um," Lois said. This from a girl who never said 'um.' "I think I'd better take you to someone who can explain it better than I can." She gestured for them to follow her.

They skirted around the dragon. Ianto said, "That's a dragon."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "No shit, Sherlock."

Phoebe approached the blue police box cautiously, followed by Nathan. He really didn't see what Phoebe was so fussed about. It was just a blue police box...which hadn't been there before. Okay, he saw where she was coming from. Plus, if it meant he could spend time with her a bit more – her being the girl of his dreams and all – then he didn't care what they did. So long as it didn't involve throwing fruit at people. Fruit was surprisingly hard. It hurt.

Phoebe knocked at the door of the blue police box. No answer. So she knocked again.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming," a muffled voice said before the door opened, revealing a very thin man accompanied by a larger – but then anything looked bigger next to him – red haired woman.

Phoebe frowned. "Hey..."

The thin man rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. It's bigger on the inside."

Phoebe shook her head. "Uh, yeah. Whatever. Actually I was talking to her," she said, pointing at the woman. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" She frowned a bit more. Then it was as if a light bulb had gone off above her head. Nathan thought she looked very pretty. "You're Donna Noble! From _Doctor Who_! You are, like, my all-time favourite Companion. Of all time," she added, just to hammer that point home.

The thin man opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Phoebe, who turned to him and added, "So that makes you the Doctor. Huh."

The Doctor felt inexplicably stumped. This _had _to be some sort of alternate universe. It had to be. No one would look that disappointed in _his _universe.

"Yes," the Doctor confirmed, trying to muster the shreds of his dignity. "Now, young lady, are we in some sort of alternate universe?" Please be in an alternate universe, he thought. Please.

"Uh, yeah," Phoebe replied, not really paying attention when one of her idols was right in front of her. "Some people are looking for this boy called Pegasus who is the key to something called the Ultimate Alternate Universe System. Apparently the universes are starting to merge or something – can I have your autograph?" Phoebe added, holding out a piece of paper for Donna to sign.

The Doctor, hearing the words, went pale. "Oh no," he whispered. "Not again." He grabbed Donna by the hand. "Come on, Donna, we're leaving."

Donna pulled her hand out of his grip. "Uh, no we're not. I'm starting to like it here." She smiled at Phoebe and signed her name. "Who should I make this out to?"

"Uh, Phoebe Halliwell," Phoebe said.

Donna blinked. "No. _Freaking_. Way. Phoebe Halliwell?" she exclaimed. "One of the Charmed Ones? Oh, this is my lucky day! You are my favourite Charmed sister! Mind autographing something for me?"

Phoebe grinned. This was like a dream come true.

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**Since this is a multi-multi character story I've split them into groups (see chapter the sixth for their groups). Hope you enjoyed this one!**

**Review please.**


	9. Chapter the ninth

Chapter the ninth:

Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes, Charmed, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville, Firefly or Star Wars

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Leo picked up a packet of marshmallows. "Do you think they'll want these?"

Hiro clapped his hands. "Ooh, yes! Then we can make smores!" He shoved a bag of waffles in Leo's face. "And these! They'll love these!"

Leo grinned nervously at the Japanese man's child-like enthusiasm. He took the packet gently out of Hiro's hands. "Okay, I'm sure they'll love them."

And then a space ship crashed through the ceiling of the supermarket.

A man appeared from the smoke left by the space ship's unorthodox landing. "Where the hell are we, Zoe? One minute we're flying through space, peaceful-like, the next we're..." He glanced around and threw his hands up in despair. "A supermarket! Great. We're in a supermarket. What the _hell _is going on here?"

A woman followed the man out of the smoke, covering her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt. "I couldn't say, sir."

The man gave her a look that deserved capitalisation. "That was oh so helpful, Zoe."

Zoe grinned. "Glad to be of service, sir."

Bart, who had been in the dessert section, came running, followed quickly by Noah (meat) and Giles (fruit, vegetables and bread). As soon as he saw the space ship and the man and woman standing before it, Bart let out a great shout (it could have been termed a scream but we'll leave him his manliness for the moment), which finally turned into, "Oh my god! The crew of _Serenity_!" He let out another 'shout' and then continued, "Mal!! Zoe!! Oh my god, I can't believe it's you!!"

The man, whose name was apparently Mal, and Zoe looked at each other, sharing a look that to Noah and Giles – both referring to each other as the only sane ones in an insane bunch – said 'What drugs has this guy been on?'

Bart jumped up and down, moving into super speed as his excitement increased.

Mal looked at the speedy Bart for a moment then shrugged. "Since we're here we should probably find out whether this is where our guests come from." He turned back towards the ship and shouted, "Guys! It's safe to come out now!"

The large man accompanied by three petite women walked out of the smoke. Almost a second later another girl walked out, a bit more hesitantly. She was followed a moment later by two men, deep in conversation.

An older man came up behind Noah and Giles. "I explored, Captain," he said, the sound of his voice making the two men jump half way out of their skins...almost literally. "Nothing too dangerous."

Mal nodded at the man. "Thanks, Preacher." He rubbed his hands together, in what Leo thought was a sort of sick anticipation...and then his gaze focused on the man in deep conversation with a blonde man. "Chris!" he yelled.

Chris looked up. "Dad?" he said, his voice slightly confused since the conversation he'd been having with Wash had been very interesting. "Is that you?"

There was a bit of a reunion hug. The others watched on, some with expressions of 'Aww, that's so cute,' and others with amusement in their eyes. Only one of the petite women dared snigger.

Bart's eyes had widened as the people had walked out of the smoke left by _Serenity_'s landing. Jayne, Inara, River, Kaylee, Wash...even the Preacher. They were all here except...Simon. Where was he?"

"It seems one of our guests has found where they belong," Mal said, satisfaction saturating his tone. "Now, Monica, do you recognise any of the people here?"

The dark girl gazed at each of the people's faces. "Uh, not really," she said. She pointed at Hiro. "He looks familiar though...like I've seen him somewhere..." Her eyes widened. "Hiro Nakamura!" she exclaimed. "From the 9th Wonder comics!"

Hiro's eyes widened. He was also happy to meet another 9th Wonders fan. He concentrated on her face, in case he knew her. Something...familiar. What had the cowboy man say her name was? Monica? Light bulb! Monica Dawson AKA Saint Joan! He exclaimed as much a few moments later. Monica was very happy to have found someone she knew, even if it was only from a comic Micah had made her read. She grinned.

Mal rubbed his hands together. "Now that that's taken care of we have one final guest."

"Two, captain, actually," Kaylee said.

Mal blinked. "Oh, you mean that black tin man person who's in the engine room? True. Then we have two other guests. Go drag Simon away from Adam and bring them here, Kaylee."

Hiro's eyes widened again. He really should stop doing that. His eyes would pop out if he did it enough times, or so his sister said. "Adam?" he whispered.

Noah's mind made the connection. "Are you talking about Adam Monroe?" he asked Mal.

Mal looked surprised. "Yeah. Why?"

And then Darth Vader stepped out of the smoke. All thoughts of Adam Monroe vanished.

"No. Way." Bart was the only one brave enough to say a word.

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**I finally updated! Yay me! Hope you liked this chapter. If you are a little confused...that is perfectly naturally. It is meant to be confusing. Review, please. They are the breath of life to me. Literally. **


	10. Chapter the tenth

**Chapter the tenth**

**Author's Note: I haven't updated this in so long but I've had some of this in my head so I thought I'd post it just in case I forgot. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed, Smallville, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Heroes, Merlin or Darth Vader...**

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_We haven't actually been here as yet so...someplace we have not yet been...looks like an attic..._

Elle gazed out of the attic window at the scene below. "There's a dragon out there," she said, her tone noticeably neutral as though she wanted to ask if dragons in the front yard was a common occurrence in these parts.

Piper flicked through the Book of Shadows, her eyes glued to the pages. "It better not be stepping all over my garden," she said absently. Elle chose not to say anything and instead moved away from the window, but not before glancing back to see the Dragon, a proper repentant expression on its large face, apologise to Clark Kent for trampling the flowers closest to the street. She was wise enough to keep that to herself.

Piper sighed, frustrated, and closed the Book with a snap. She leaned into it and blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing about the Ultimate Whatsit."

"The Ultimate Alternate Universe System," Willow said absently, combing through the now free Book of Shadows with barely concealed glee. She looked up momentarily. "And it's not really something you'd expect to find in here, is it? There'll probably be more info on the..."

"Gotcha!" Chloe said, clapping her hands excitedly. She glanced up from where she was sitting on the sofa, Phoebe's laptop balanced precariously on her lap. Really, why they were called laptops she had no clue. "At least ten hits on the Ultimate Alternate Universe System. Far more on alternate universes but we'll skip past those..." She fell silent as she flicked through the articles, discarding the ones that were of no use.

Piper raised an eyebrow sceptically. "There's actually something about it _on the internet_?" She shook her head, obviously unable to believe it for the moment.

Chloe glanced up. "You can find _anything _on the internet, if you look hard enough." Willow nodded in agreement.

At that moment two boys entered the room. The dark haired one, on the left, mumbled, "Clark sent us up here because we know something about magic." He cleared his throat. "I'm Merlin...and this is Arthur." He gestured at the blonde boy next to him.

His blue eyes focused on Piper, as she appeared to be the most responsible looking person in the room. Plus Clark had said he should talk to the dark haired woman, and the others were either blonde or red haired. "I'm sorry about the Dragon tramp--"

Arthur, clearly deliberately although it was done very discreetly, stepped on his foot. Elle heard him mutter, "Shut it, you idiot. Do you _want _us to get kicked out?"

Merlin tried to simultaneously glare at him and rub his foot at the same time. It was a rather comical picture. Arthur clapped his hands together. "Well, it looks like you've got everything sorted. I'll just go do...something else." He left in rather a hurry.

Merlin moved to sit beside Chloe on the sofa where he could rub his sore foot without looking like a total ass. The women waited for him to answer a silent question they were all thinking.

The warlock eventually noticed the silence and looked up to find four very attractive women staring at him. His face went bright red. "Um..." He scratched his head in an effort to collect his thoughts. "He's not really that comfortable with magic..." The women nodded but only Chloe heard his muttered, "...unless it has something to do with ripping his clothes off."

Chloe grinned wickedly and Merlin realised she'd heard him. His blush deepened.

Piper, thankfully, interrupted before he was liable to burst into flames at the sheer heat. "So...are you really _the _Merlin? Merlin the magician who helps King Arthur? _That _Merlin?"

"Um, yes," he replied, squirming under her sceptical gaze. "There are other Merlins?" He'd always believed his name was rather unique.

"Does that mean that that blonde guy was _King Arthur_?" Elle squealed excitedly. She'd always been a bit of an Arthurian geek.

"Uh, well, he's _Prince _Arthur at the moment," Merlin replied, his cheeks slowly resuming their normal colour. "He won't be King until his father dies."

Elle conceded that he had a point. "And that Dragon down there is...?" she asked, leaving the question open.

Merlin shrugged. "He's...the Dragon. I don't think he really has a name. Not one he wants us to know, in any case." At certain times, when he was feeling slightly bored, he wondered if the Dragon's name was something embarrassing, like Bob. Or Sparky. "He's sort of our guardian. He brought us together. At times he can be a pain in the ass but, mostly, he's harmless."

"By together, do you mean _together _together?" Elle asked eagerly. One of her pet theories was about to be either confirmed or denied. She was hoping for the former.

Merlin's blush returned. He still wasn't terribly happy with talking about their relationship as Arthur, irritatingly, appeared to be. He opened his mouth to say, well, he didn't really know what he was going to say but it would have been terribly witty (yes, really).

However we will never know for sure since Chloe interrupted with, "Listen to this, girls..." She belatedly remembered Merlin. "...and, uh, guy." She gazed at the computer screen and began to read. "'The Ultimate Alternate Universe System controls and stimulates the myriad universes the world consists of. It manages universes created by individuals and their imaginations and continues them even after the individual has ceased doing the same. There have been rumours of a Key to the System although these rumours have been mostly unfounded. However one of the prophecies of largely unknown French philosopher, Gerard Souhaiter, states that 'When the housewife becomes a villain and the Beast is called, the Key of the System will take human form and bring the universes together.' This would cause untold damage to the fabric of reality. We can only hope that he was incorrect.'"

She glanced up at the others to gauge their reactions. They seemed as shocked as she was.

"The Beast..." Willow muttered, shaking her head. "Doesn't sound good."

Elle glanced over at the window. "Do you think it might mean..." she said hesitantly.

Merlin shook his head firmly. "No, the Dragon's not this so-called Beast. He couldn't be."

"I think the others should know about this, don't you?" Chloe asked a silent Piper, who nodded.

They were about to leave when Bart sped into the room. "Chloe, baby, you'll never guess who's here," he said, not even breathless as he rushed towards her.

"Oh, I think we can," Elle said faintly.

Darth Vader had entered the room, just moments after Bart. He had been enjoying the reactions he was receiving from people. He didn't know _why _people were acting the way they were around him but that didn't really matter. What mattered was that they seemed to be in complete _awe _of him. He was enjoying himself immensely, as anyone with half a brain would.

Merlin, the only person in the room who _didn't _know who the dark helmeted figure was, asked, "Who are you?"

Darth Vader faltered. What? There was actually someone who didn't know who he was? How was that possible?

Bart looked at Merlin, agape. "He's _Darth Vader_, man. How can you not know him?"

"He's Merlin, sweetie," Chloe said soothingly. She knew how Bart was. "Merlin the magician? I think we can be pretty sure he doesn't know about Darth Vader." Merlin tried to smile at the astonished Bart reassuringly. He was starting to wish his prince was with him, if only because Arthur would have stopped him from asking such an obviously stupid question.

Bart blinked. "Oh. Well, that's okay then." He grinned and clapped Merlin on the back. Hard. "When this is over I am _so _introducing you to the wonder that is _Star Wars_."

Merlin did not know what this meant but he had a funny feeling he wasn't going to like it. He also had a funny feeling that Arthur was going to enjoy that enormously. He shuddered inwardly.

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**Well, I hope you liked that. The next one will probably be up shortly. Or not. **

**Review please. **


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